The Truth about Living with a Dog that’s Mad #1

Yes! It's the same dog and yes, she is sat on a chair. She does that! 

Over two years ago, a Golden Retriever pup that now goes by the name of Poppy (well that's her name, until she feels like ignoring you) entered into our lives. Since that day, there's not a day gone by when I haven't opened my laptop and searched into Google "why does my dog…". I mean, I know all animals have their 'weird' habits - like humans do, I suppose - but there is some weird explantations out there on the Internet; one website said all dogs calm down by the age of two. Well clearly that hasn't true because she has calmed down at all. Another suggested to use a squirt gun to spray water at her, when she misbehaves. No, I don't think that's the right answer either. Sorry Internet, I'm breaking your theories and putting the world to right about living with a mad dog because your theories simply don't work with this dog - she… ummm, unique to say the least. 

Two years have gone past so quickly and each day is never the same; either something different is destroyed each day or she does something, which still surprised me - honestly I thought I would be surprised by the things she does anymore but I still am. Anyway, the world needs to know, what it's really like to live with a dog that's mad:

This dog does not understand that owners need their sleep.
When she decides it's time for everyone to get up, that's it. It's time to get up. She will purposefully walk and climb all over you or tap punch you with her paw until you are awake; sometimes she'll even sit on you, until you get up - it doesn't matter if its 5am, 6am or 7am, if she is getting up, everyone is up. Yet, when she has got everyone up and finally had her breakfast, it is only then she decides that its time to go back to sleep, whilst all owners continue to get on with their days. How is this fair? 

This dog does not understand that what's mine, is not hers.
You can buy Poppy all the toys under the sun but if she wants something that you've got, that's it she finds away to get it. I can't tell you how many of my cuddly teddies, socks and slippers she has stolen, run down the garden with and claimed. Ridiculous. Basically, if it's not nailed down its hers. Those are the rules of Poppy. 

This dog loves causing mischief.
Whenever she is quiet, you should be worried. It either means A) she is up to no good or B) she has done something and she is now hiding; most of time its both. Whether it's rolling in mum's plants until they look dead or sleeping on the new clean bed sheets that have just been put on the bed; there is always something on that dog's mind. In times like these, I wish I could read minds, it would be so much easier to know what she is thinking. 

This dog likes cuddles (but she is not a lap dog). 
She is a bit BIG to be lap dog to be honest but if she wants cuddles, that's it. You can be sat minding your own business, busy around the house or sleeping and the same rules will still apply. Don't get me wrong, I love cuddles as much as the next person (or dog) but normally she wants a cuddle at the most inconvenient time, normally when you're extremely busy, it is only then she decides to sit on you. 

This dog takes up all the room. 
I know, she is a big dog but does she really have to take up all the room. Whilst my parents were away for two weeks, she decided that sleeping on her bed was overrated, so joined me in the land of luxury on my bed - just to say, I didn't agree to this - but Poppy has a tactic, during the course of the night, she pushes her way into the middle of the bed until you're practically sleeping on the floor. One morning, I got up two hour earlier than I needed too because I had been pushed out of bed. Not cool. 

This dog like to chew things (that aren't hers). 
Honestly, I can't tell you how many cuddly toys I have with no noses or eyes because she decided that they shouldn't be on them or how many socks that didn't have a pair because she decided to chew one into bits. Sometimes it was humorous. Like the time she decided to chew her bed and my teddy into bits - honestly it looks like a sheep had been murdered, there was that much duvet stuffing everywhere. It looked like a massacre. Believe me when I say she was quite happy with herself, sitting there wagging her tail whilst I cleaned up the mess. Thank you Poppy. 

This dog loves attention.
Apparently dogs are independent. Well, I guess this dog missed the memo… Because she wants everyone's attention, all the time. I come home from work, she is dying to go out within minutes she is back inside wanting everyone's attention. Peace is shattered. 

This dog loves food (and not just dog food). 
I don't think that there is anything this dog doesn't eat - apart from Banana, which I found out the other day when I dropped a bit on floor; she quickly spit it out. But apart from that, this dog will eat ANYTHING. If you cutting up vegetables, she's there right by your feet and if you don't give her any she crys and gives you 'the look' with those big brown puppy eyes. 

This dog is man's best friend.
Although, this dog is mad. She's got your back. She's definitely got a character about her. If she considered someone a threat, she'll stand her ground. 

Poppy may cause madness and chaos, wherever she goes but believe me when I say, I always have a story to tell about her and I wouldn't change her in a million years. But I wish she would stop running off with my things; running up and down the garden in my pyjamas to get something back isn't my idea of fun at 7am. 

Until the next episode in the series of "The truth about living with a dog that’s mad", Au Revoir!
Love, 
Lauren xo